Category: friends

So I’ve been a little bit of a slacker and haven’t posted for a week.  I know, I know, but sometimes there’s this little thing called WORK that needs to get done.  And I’m attached to my crack, aka my Kindle.  I’m also working on my online classes, which are going well.  I finished my first class 2 weeks ago.  For those curious, I received a B in the class.  Hey I’m not looking to break any world records with my grades.  I just want to finish!!  But I was still happy with the grade because I kinda sucked on the quizzes.  It doesn’t make much sense because they were all open book tests, but for some reason, just knowing it was a quiz kinda freaked my freak and messed me up.  Oh well.  It’s done, and now I’m on to business taxation.  Woo hoo!!!  🙂

I was able to take a little breather by going on a spa excursion with my friend Mrs. Kitty.  She posted a blog about her birthday and how she was planning on getting a massage on Friday, along with going shopping for an ab-FAB purse and getting her hair done.  I did have to work and I wasn’t able to join her for the shopping (dang it!!!) but I was determined to meet her for the massage.

Before her wedding, she and I, along with another great friend, had a spa day that was heaven on earth.  Massage + facial + mani/pedi+ great friends + lots of laughs = GREAT TIMES!!!  I can’t afford to do that very often but how many times does your best friend get married???  (Just once I hope because  I like Mr. Cat!!)

I begged and pleaded with my manager and promised her my first-born to let me leave a little early on Friday to meet her.  We made an appointment at 5:00pm in SCV.  Now granted, I work in Encino and had to drive to SCV (about 20 miles away, but with Friday traffic, it usually takes 45+ minutes).  My manager had errands that she needed to run, but she promised to be back in the office by 4:30, 4:45 at the latest.  She wanted me to wait until she got back to the office before I left.  Riiiigghhhhtttt, because clients are really likely to call on a Friday at the end of the day!  I don’t think so!!

Well, I stayed as long as I could.  I knew she wouldn’t be back in time, so I left the office around 4:15.  I figured I would need that much time to get there.  Boy was I right!!!  Traffic was crazy!!  I ended up driving in the carpool lane (yikes!!!) for most of the way.  I was driving like a mad woman!!!  I was going to need a massage after the heart attack I was about to have! 

To make matters worse, traffic slowed down and was bumper to bumper.  I was stuck in the carpool lane, and who did I see on the side of the road????  A lovely CHP officer!!  Agghh!!!  I tried to keep as calm as I could and just inch along in the traffic, hoping he wouldn’t see me.  I kept my head down and stared straight ahead.  You don’t see me, you don’t see me!  Phew!!  I passed him with no problems, but I kept checking my rear view mirror to make sure he wasn’t about to pounce on me.  Mentally, I’m trying to come up with the best excuse I possibly can in case I am pulled over.  “My non-existent child needs me to pick him up from day care”.  “What, you mean I don’t have my kid in the backseat???  Oh crap!  I KNEW I was forgetting something!”  “Officer, I’m on my period and need to get home ASAP, if you know what I mean.”  “My doctor told me that if I hold my pee too long, I will inflame the already raging bladder infection that I have.  Do you by chance have a large cup I can borrow??” 

As I was creating my excuse in my head, another CHP officer pulled up by me.  Not only was this a second officer, but it was a motorcycle cop who was in the carpool lane with me and DROVE RIGHT NEXT TO MY CAR!!!  At this point, I was looking around the car for a paper bag because I was sure I was going to hyperventilate.  I was also looking on the dash to see if there was an invisibility button I could press to make my car unseen.  I’m normally a very law abiding citizen.  Granted, I do have a bit of a lead-foot but I still follow the laws of the road.  Thankfully, he just drove right past me as well, without even a second glance at my car. 

At the same time this is all happening, Mrs Kitty and I are text messaging (another no-no while driving in CA) about whether I will get there on time.  I finally said F-it, and dial her number.  As I’m on the phone with her, my manager calls me.  AGGHHH!!!  Can things get any worse???  I was sure that she was either going to A) ream me a new one for leaving early, or B) since she was calling from her cell phone, she would tell me to go ahead and leave because she wasn’t back yet.  Chances were good that it was B but I didn’t want to take that chance.  Click, into voicemail you go!!

I finally was able to get thru the mess of traffic (popping back into a new carpool lane that started on the 5… apparently I didn’t learn my lesson after the 2nd close call with my heart attack).  I zipped along and finally got the mall with about 5 minutes to spare.  I’m not sure how many traffic laws I broke in my race to relax, but it was more than one!! 

I finally got to a parking spot and hit the re-dial button on my phone to call Mrs. Kitty back and tell her that I had arrived.  I forgot that my manager had called me last and my phone started dialing her number.  I looked at it in horror, wondering what I ever did to it for it to betray me so.  I hit the end button so hard as I’m screaming “No, no!!!  Don’t call her!!!  Anyone but her right now!!!”  I’m sure the people standing on the sidewalk as I was walking past them in a deranged powerwalk were thinking I was crazy.  I decided maybe I should just turn off the phone and actually relax. 

Ok.  I’m in.  Phew!!  I quickly changed my clothes (probably the fastest that I’ve ever stripped!) and met Mrs Kitty in the quiet solarium where you are supposed to relax before your service.  I was so wired up that I didn’t think I could relax at all!  Luckily, once I saw her there and realized that the crisis had been averted, I did calm down a little bit.  Unfortunately she couldn’t do the massage, but she still was able to get a facial. 

She was called in first and I sat waiting for my tech to come get me.  And I waited.  And waited.  WTF!?!?!?  I started feeling like the last kid picked at school for kick ball.  Nobody wants me on their team!  Finally, after about 25 minutes of waiting (no exaggeration because even though I didn’t have my watch on, I was pacing like a lion on the prowl and glanced at the time on the a/c unit), my tech came thru the door to get me.  As we were walking down the hall, she started apologizing profusely that she had just had car troubles and she thought our appointment was at 5:30.  You mean, I could have taken my time in getting here????  Oy vay!!


F*cked up Fridays

I have been inspired by Kitty Concerto, I have decided to have my own rant on Friday.  I’m trying to help her spread the verbal diahrea and the std in the Ford Ranger (not really sure about THAT story, Mrs. Kitty, but I would like to hear details!!!  LOL!!!) 

Seeing as my day yesterday was oh-so productive and wonderful, this post really fits in with that theme!  So without further delay, I give you my list of things that tick me off today:

1-traffic.  Traffic is really making me nuts lately.  Perhaps I should clarify: I don’t mind the traffic so much as I really dislike stupid people (maybe that should be another note).  People are in such a rush to go everywhere, and don’t care about the people around me.  Yesterday as I was getting off the freeway to go to work, I heard the tell-tale screech of tires and gut-wrenching slam of metal.  Right in the lane next to me was some jacka$$ who decided that he was going to try to roll over the cars in front of him.  He apparently forgot that he left his monster truck at home, and instead slammed into the car in front of him.  This car proceeded to slam into the next and the next.  All told it was a 4 car collision which scared the crap out of me, especially since I was RIGHT there.  The funny thing about car accidents though is you just can’t look away!!  Had I been driving a beast, I may not have been concerned but I can’t have my little Tinker smushed on the freeway.  Her feelings would have been so hurt!!  I had to gently console her as I rubbed the dashboard, speaking in baby tones like “Your mommy would never do that to you.  No she wouldn’t”.
Ummmmm…….yeah, I’m strange.  Moving on….

2-stupid people.  Ok, I couldn’t help myself, I had to add it as another item.  I hate it when people ask stupid questions or just don’t pay attention.  It seems like I am constantly surrounded by these people, even when I try to distance myself from them.  It’s like I tell Jeff:  I HATE drama and yet it always seems to follow me.  It’s like a little lost puppy trailing me around with those big puppy dog eyes, begging to be invited in.  As much as I love puppies, that one needs to find another home!!

3-living paycheck to paycheck.  It is SO frustrating to always feel like I’m living for the 15th and the 30th.  I hate that the money seems to go out of my checkbook just as fast (or faster!!) than it comes into it.  I have dreams of winning the lottery and bathing myself in money.  Well, not really since I used to work in a bank and money is REALLY not clean.  I can’t tell you how well I built up my immunity system by being exposed to so many germs.  But still, it would be fun to do it!!!  I realize that I am going to school to better myself and get a better education, but still!!  It would be really nice if I could make that salary now and take care of the bills now, rather than wait until then to try to play catch up.

4-school.  Speaking of trying to better educate myself, sometimes I get so frustrated with school.  I’m enrolled in an online college on the East Coast and it requires SOOO much discipline to buckle down and get my work done.  I’m glad that I’m doing it, but let me tell you, I will be just as glad to be done with it!

5-my lack of sense of smell.  Ok, this one may sound a little strange.  To those who know me well, you know that I have no sense of smell.  I know, I know, it’s strange.  Maybe not as strange as the fact that I have one big toe that’s shorter than the other, but it’s still strange.  You don’t realize how many people ask you to smell things throughout the day, or comment on some passing smell that I can’t enjoy (or commisserate with them about).  My SIL is so guity of this.  She’s always commenting on smells and asks me to smell it.  I just smile at her, and then she says “Oh yeah.  I forgot”.  Could I have this ailment fixed?  Sure I probably could, but if you read #3, there isn’t a ton of extra money lying around just yet.  And with people starving in China, it hardly seems like I should be griping about it, but I am!  So THERE!!!  🙂

6-spam.  This never seemed to be an issue for me.  I would log in to my email account, and be excited to see mail from friends, family, and maybe a few ads from places I have made purchases before.  Now I log in to my account and see that I have all these messages, yet the bulk of them are spam mail.  Ever since my purchase online from a lingerie store (see prior post), I have been bombarded my spam mail, all of which is for porn sites.  The most offensive has been involving barnyard animals.  No thank you!!!  I will NEVER be interested, Mr. Porn People, so STOP sending the emails!!  At first I was responding to each of them, asking them to remove me from their mailing list, but I think this just confirmed to them that it is a working email address, and they shared it with 10 million of their closest friends. 

And speaking of spam, how did that word get assigned to junk mail???  Was it someone who had a bad Spam experience and said “This is junk.  I get email junk.  Hey, wait a minute…..”  Just a thought. 

7-people at work who want you to work.  Ever since Mrs. Kitty introduced me to the Google Reader, I am hooked on the lives of my fellow bloggers.  I love reading about your trials and tribulations, the good times and the bad.  So many of you put a smile on my face everyday, and I thank you guys for that.  It’s been such a fun experience getting a peek into your lives.  It’s that pesky work that gets in the way.  Can’t you see that I’m reading a funny post right now?  GOSH!!!  I feel like having an “Office Space” moment.  “I told them if they made me stop blogging, I’d burn down the building”.  Hey, it worked for Milton and his red stapler!  

I do feel obligated to say something positive in this post.  I can’t be so downtrodden!!!  It’s not in my nature.  I do love reading all of your posts and I love all your comments.  Feel free to comment away!!!  I have turned into a comment whore and enjoy all of them.  Also, thank you to Mrs. Kitty for showing me how to link items in my blog.  I’m crossing my fingers and toes that they are working correctly. 

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend.  Jeff and I are talking about going to the Spooky House in Northridge, another chance for him to try to scare me.  We’ll see who gets scared.  HAHAHAHAH!!!!

The big 5-0!!!

On Sunday we had a surprise 50th birthday party for Jennifer.  I personally like to remind her on a regular basis what a geezer she is, but that’s my job!!  It was organized by her sisters, and she knew they were all getting together but Melissa and the girls and I were the surprise guests.  SURPRISE!!!  Since I was a total dork and forgot my camera (it was still packed up with all the Arkham stuff), I “borrowed” these pics from my dad’s site.  Thanks!!!  🙂

The birthday girl!

The birthday girl!

My aunt is so creative and everything was so cute

My aunt is so creative and everything was so cute

Here was a great idea that we did for her gift.  All the invitees were asked to bring something that made them think of Jennifer.  It needed to be about 2 inches tall.  Melissa and I organized it all into a shadowbox and Jennifer had to guess who brought which item, and why it made them think of her.

So cute!!!

It was a great (very loud!!) party.  Any time Elisabeth and Carrie are involved, it’s sure to be a loud event. 🙂 I think I have now memorized the song “Do Your Boobs Hang Low?”.  Well, if you really want to know……well, maybe that’s for another post!

Saturday we had our 2nd Annual Arkham Horror event.  For those of you unfamiliar with this game (as I’m sure most of you are clueless about it!!), this is a co-operative board game based on the writings of H.P. Lovecraft.  This is the guy who followed Edgar Allan Poe, so it’s some scary stuff!!  He has a pretty warped mind!!  This is the first board game that I have ever played that is completely co-op, meaning either we all win or we all lose.  Yes, the board can kick your butt and it does on a regular basis!!  Here are some lovely pictures from the event…..

The setting for the party.  Yes, that is a big oak wine barrel in the foreground.  The only way to party!!

The setting for the party. Yes, that is a big oak wine barrel in the foreground. The only way to party!!

Jeff is meticulously setting up the game.

Jeff is meticulously setting up the game.



A close up of the game. Confused yet??? 🙂

We were able to win both games that we played.  Horray!!!  Each game takes about an hour per player, so it is an all day event.  Yes, I realize that we are geeks and I’m ok with that!!!

I happened to be First Citizen in each game.  That means that even though it’s a co-op game and we all won, I was able to kick the most butt.  Take that, boys!!!  However I think it was rigged a little bit because Jeff brought Witchwood and Scarecrow beer as the prize, and I’m not a big beer drinker.  Oh well.  I still get bragging rights!!!

Some yummy treats.  I think this is why the guys like it when I play!!

Some yummy treats. I think this is why the guys like it when I play!!

Last night I had the wonderful opportunity of getting together with a dear friend of mine, Mrs. Kitty.  We have been friends for years and I love having the chance to see her.  Most of the time we’re together, I’m trying hard not to have any fluids shoot out of my nose while I’m drinking my ever-present Diet Coke and laughing hysterically.  I am convinced that laughing is all the ab work I need to do!!  (At least that’s the story I’m going with…..)

So we were able to meet up for dinner and enjoy some GOOD TIMES!!!  Our server came over to us about every 10 minutes to try to take our order.  Can’t you see we’re talking and haven’t even opened the menu????  I’m convinced that some servers are put in your life just to irritate you.  I think she was taking her job to heart, and trying to interupt us as many times as possible.  Kudos to you, Server-chick-whose-name-I-don’t-remember.

So after sitting for 3 1/2 hours and drinking inhumane amounts of pop, my bladder felt like it was going to do just that.  I had to interupt the conversation because I realized my bladder was going to take care of it’s business and didn’t really care where I was when it happened.  Seeing as I didn’t want to have to explain to Server Girl or the manager why a lovely yellow puddle was forming around me, I decided we needed to move the party elsewhere.

That’s when the problem started.  Sitting down I was fine because my bladder wasn’t moving.  It was just sitting in it’s nice little resting place, making threats and swearing a bloody streak at me.  I tried to stand up straight and realized that if I did that, said puddle would come hither. 

So I did what any normal person would do:  I slouched down, looking like an old woman and hobbled out to the restroom, Mrs Kitty in tow laughing hysterically at me.  I kept telling her “Don’t make me laugh, don’t make me laugh”.  Do you think she listened???  No of course not.  In her opinion it’s not a good night unless someone shoots something out their nose, loses bodily functions, or gets a piercing in an inappropriate spot.  (Thankfully I was able to elude her attempts in Vegas to get the piercing one.  Phew!!)

Even in my excruciating pain, as we walked up to the front of the restaurant, both of us full of yummy chicken and garlic toast, we had to pause in the pain and admire the dessert tray.  We were able to restrain ourselves and made it to the restroom. 

I don’t think I’ve ever had to use the restroom so bad in my life!!!  All I could think to say in my moment of dispair was “Ah, sweet relief!!”.  Which made me wonder if anyone was outside the restroom door and what their facial expression would be if they heard us.

We TOTALLY have to do that again, Mrs. Kitty.  🙂