So I’ve been a little bit of a slacker and haven’t posted for a week.  I know, I know, but sometimes there’s this little thing called WORK that needs to get done.  And I’m attached to my crack, aka my Kindle.  I’m also working on my online classes, which are going well.  I finished my first class 2 weeks ago.  For those curious, I received a B in the class.  Hey I’m not looking to break any world records with my grades.  I just want to finish!!  But I was still happy with the grade because I kinda sucked on the quizzes.  It doesn’t make much sense because they were all open book tests, but for some reason, just knowing it was a quiz kinda freaked my freak and messed me up.  Oh well.  It’s done, and now I’m on to business taxation.  Woo hoo!!!  🙂

I was able to take a little breather by going on a spa excursion with my friend Mrs. Kitty.  She posted a blog about her birthday and how she was planning on getting a massage on Friday, along with going shopping for an ab-FAB purse and getting her hair done.  I did have to work and I wasn’t able to join her for the shopping (dang it!!!) but I was determined to meet her for the massage.

Before her wedding, she and I, along with another great friend, had a spa day that was heaven on earth.  Massage + facial + mani/pedi+ great friends + lots of laughs = GREAT TIMES!!!  I can’t afford to do that very often but how many times does your best friend get married???  (Just once I hope because  I like Mr. Cat!!)

I begged and pleaded with my manager and promised her my first-born to let me leave a little early on Friday to meet her.  We made an appointment at 5:00pm in SCV.  Now granted, I work in Encino and had to drive to SCV (about 20 miles away, but with Friday traffic, it usually takes 45+ minutes).  My manager had errands that she needed to run, but she promised to be back in the office by 4:30, 4:45 at the latest.  She wanted me to wait until she got back to the office before I left.  Riiiigghhhhtttt, because clients are really likely to call on a Friday at the end of the day!  I don’t think so!!

Well, I stayed as long as I could.  I knew she wouldn’t be back in time, so I left the office around 4:15.  I figured I would need that much time to get there.  Boy was I right!!!  Traffic was crazy!!  I ended up driving in the carpool lane (yikes!!!) for most of the way.  I was driving like a mad woman!!!  I was going to need a massage after the heart attack I was about to have! 

To make matters worse, traffic slowed down and was bumper to bumper.  I was stuck in the carpool lane, and who did I see on the side of the road????  A lovely CHP officer!!  Agghh!!!  I tried to keep as calm as I could and just inch along in the traffic, hoping he wouldn’t see me.  I kept my head down and stared straight ahead.  You don’t see me, you don’t see me!  Phew!!  I passed him with no problems, but I kept checking my rear view mirror to make sure he wasn’t about to pounce on me.  Mentally, I’m trying to come up with the best excuse I possibly can in case I am pulled over.  “My non-existent child needs me to pick him up from day care”.  “What, you mean I don’t have my kid in the backseat???  Oh crap!  I KNEW I was forgetting something!”  “Officer, I’m on my period and need to get home ASAP, if you know what I mean.”  “My doctor told me that if I hold my pee too long, I will inflame the already raging bladder infection that I have.  Do you by chance have a large cup I can borrow??” 

As I was creating my excuse in my head, another CHP officer pulled up by me.  Not only was this a second officer, but it was a motorcycle cop who was in the carpool lane with me and DROVE RIGHT NEXT TO MY CAR!!!  At this point, I was looking around the car for a paper bag because I was sure I was going to hyperventilate.  I was also looking on the dash to see if there was an invisibility button I could press to make my car unseen.  I’m normally a very law abiding citizen.  Granted, I do have a bit of a lead-foot but I still follow the laws of the road.  Thankfully, he just drove right past me as well, without even a second glance at my car. 

At the same time this is all happening, Mrs Kitty and I are text messaging (another no-no while driving in CA) about whether I will get there on time.  I finally said F-it, and dial her number.  As I’m on the phone with her, my manager calls me.  AGGHHH!!!  Can things get any worse???  I was sure that she was either going to A) ream me a new one for leaving early, or B) since she was calling from her cell phone, she would tell me to go ahead and leave because she wasn’t back yet.  Chances were good that it was B but I didn’t want to take that chance.  Click, into voicemail you go!!

I finally was able to get thru the mess of traffic (popping back into a new carpool lane that started on the 5…..no apparently I didn’t learn my lesson after the 2nd close call with my heart attack).  I zipped along and finally got the mall with about 5 minutes to spare.  I’m not sure how many traffic laws I broke in my race to relax, but it was more than one!! 

I finally got to a parking spot and hit the re-dial button on my phone to call Mrs. Kitty back and tell her that I had arrived.  I forgot that my manager had called me last and my phone started dialing her number.  I looked at it in horror, wondering what I ever did to it for it to betray me so.  I hit the end button so hard as I’m screaming “No, no!!!  Don’t call her!!!  Anyone but her right now!!!”  I’m sure the people standing on the sidewalk as I was walking past them in a deranged powerwalk were thinking I was crazy.  I decided maybe I should just turn off the phone and actually relax. 

Ok.  I’m in.  Phew!!  I quickly changed my clothes (probably the fastest that I’ve ever stripped!) and met Mrs Kitty in the quiet solarium where you are supposed to relax before your service.  I was so wired up that I didn’t think I could relax at all!  Luckily, once I saw her there and realized that the crisis had been averted, I did calm down a little bit.  Unfortunately she couldn’t do the massage, but she still was able to get a facial. 

She was called in first and I sat waiting for my tech to come get me.  And I waited.  And waited.  WTF!?!?!?  I started feeling like the last kid picked at school for kick ball.  Nobody wants me on their team!  Finally, after about 25 minutes of waiting (no exaggeration because even though I didn’t have my watch on, I was pacing like a lion on the prowl and glanced at the time on the a/c unit), my tech came thru the door to get me.  As we were walking down the hall, she started apologizing profusely that she had just had car troubles and she thought our appointment was at 5:30.  You mean, I could have taken my time in getting here????  Oy vay!!

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